more bad news for this year.....

my grandfather died this morning.....i have no idea if he was saved or not....so his death makes things a bit harder....normally what gets me through deaths is the fact that i will see them again...but i dont know about this time....his death was soo unexpected just like my other grandfather and my friends that have died...

i dont understand why he died or how he died....it has been a rough year so far for our family with a friend dying in Jan, my uncle in a serious cycling accident, my dad's mom being diagnosed with cancer, and now my mom's dad dying...why is God putting our family through this much turmoil and pain and lost. if he thought we could handle it, then i think he is wrong cause i dont think out family can handle any more of this this year...i wish i understood why but i doubt i will ever understand why...

now my children (if I ever have any) will never know my grandfathers....that is sad....because i enjoyed hanging out with them both....they even wont know the fine "adopted" grandfather I had. (an older couple in my grandparents mobile park in florida adopted our family as theirs because their only son died....i enjoy this relationship with the wonderful lady who is still alive -even though she is old, she taught herself to use the computer and email-)

life is just unfair sometimes...i know i became upset with God when J died at the beginning of the year....but i dont know what i feel toward God right now...i just want some answers and i want to know why why why and what is God trying to do with our family this year